Pause and ponder on this, basically what I am saying is that lack of attention to the boy child affects both boys and girls in a seriously negative way. These are the most difficult times in our country. There is too much of bad things happening in our society to young women and girls mostly brought upon them by the opposite sex. High rate of their killings and rape for no reason at all. No place is safe enough because in households uncles & granddads turn their grandkids into sex slaves. Fathers forget their roles because they also turn their own kids into their sexual play things. What is more sad is when a child cries out to their mom and the mom choose not to believe and they accuse the child of lying or causing trouble. Sometimes they believe but the kids are forced to keep quiet about it in fear of going hungry, being thrown out or even being alone.
When all that happens we should ask ourselves what is more important here? Your child’s wellbeing or breaking up your intimate relationship? How do you even share a bed at night with someone who makes both you and your child his sex toys? We know of these stories, we hear them and we are even involved in these situations. Where do we go wrong as parents? Are we giving too much attention to a girl child and neglecting a boy child? Maybe we need a game changer. Maybe we need to revisit how we relate to a boy child as opposed to a girl child.
From very early stages of children a girl child seems to take all the attention of their mothers more. I specifically mention mothers because we all know that dads are very few who are involved in their children’s upbringing. Those who are there are too busy making money to support the same family that they neglect their bonding sessions. Mainly kids have mothers to look up to & to learn from. The girl child get the attention from that fragile stage all the way up to marriage where they are about to start their own families. During the marriage stage all women who are about to get married get sessions with other women who have been there so they can be taught to endure pain of marriage & to make the partner happy. At that time the man are taught that it’s ok to do as they please continuing with life as if they don’t have the responsibility now.
Why can’t women be taught that their husbands are responsible to protect them, support them by all means necessary, love & care for them, feed them, provide for them and rightfully demand all that? As a woman if you tell another woman that she must cook for her husband, did you teach the husband that he must provide the food to be cooked? Where these husbands taught that no one will be protecting their families while they constantly go out with other women? The problem lies with the boy child in all of this. What are they being taught from birth? Are we relying on the wrong beliefs to take care of the boy child? The results of their childhood will come to surface when they are adults either consciously or otherwise.
In marriage they are never told or taught how to handle a woman, how to treat her right and how she should be treated as a partner who is there to help through life difficulties. Are they being told women are trained to take their nonsense? Are they taught that women are strong to take all their bullshit? All they are taught is that they can do as they please, sleep around and no question should be asked if they don’t even sleep at home. They are taught that woman are their playthings that they can do with them as they please, push them around and throw them when they are done or bored with them. Or maybe not, maybe they are just not taught anything. They never get the attention and the life lessons they supposed to get. Who is to blame here? Is it them? Is it their upbringing? Is the absence of one parent?
What happened to that believe that a woman is there as a support structure, a helper and a pillar of strength to her husband through their life together.
WHERE DO WE GO WRONG WITH OUR BOYS & GIRLS?
It is partly our fault because they are mostly never taught to respect us. They are raised by women, the very same women allow them to go disrespect other women. You cannot say your son is raised well when as a mother you never commanded him to respect you or other girls/women in general.
All we do is tell our girls to endure non-sense while we let the boys get away with that non-sense. They are the fruits of our wombs & we continue blaming them except ourselves for not laying a good foundation. Our country is on top of the list when it comes to issues of rape, sexual assaults and abuse of women/girl child. It is clear that there is something very wrong that is happening and it needs to be changed. We need to we find out where we go wrong as mothers, fathers or parents?
There is this other concept that men don’t cry, is this all we teach our boy child? Is this another reason why they abuse girls/women because they can’t cry so they have to take their frustrations out on the so called weaker sex? Maybe they are hurting inside and this is a cry for help. We cannot live in fear as women, in fear of our lives and in fear our girls’ lives. There’s too much anger that’s needs to be eliminated.
There are so many kids but no fathers, so many underage girls being impregnated by older men where some are married men. What do married men who do all this teach to their boy child? We are going to a place where as a mother you wouldn’t want to leave your kids with any male. Be it a teacher, their own father, grandfather or uncle. These is destroying our beautiful rainbow nation. Talking is not enough, action must be taken from early stages of childhood. Precautionary measures must be taken for the younger generation in order to kill this perpetuating destructive behavior of men/boys towards women/girls.
Let us give the same amount of attention we give to our girls equally to our boys. They clearly need so much attention, it should start early when they are boys so they can grow into manhood with understanding the consequences of doing certain things. We all grow up with certain values and principals and we make choices to change or live by them when we are all grown up. If you taught him but as an adult he does as he pleases at least you tried and you can have a clean conscience. At least we can only say we failed when we have tried.
It is absolutely urgent that we avoid passing on of this behavior from this generation to the next. So we need to go back and find the root of the problem and develop a new mindset. Maybe our boy children are victims who carry within themselves the painful neglect that they unconsciously inflict on the girl child. They might see the girl child as their cause of no attention of their parents. The root of the problem cannot be allowed to remain hidden.
**WE ARE THE FOUNDATION OF CHILDREN & IT IS EASIER & COST EFFECTIVE TO BUILD A STRONG CHILD THAN TO REPAIR A BROKEN ONE**
